October 6, 2013 -- Now Matter How I Look At It, It's You Guys' Fault I Had To Watch Hyperdimension Neptunia

I've been missing and I'm not going to say anything else about it.

A few months ago I said that my next review would be the then-upcoming Hyperdimension Neptunia anime. I try not to go into shows with a biased mindset, but I really was not looking forward to it. Largely because I'd played the games and

Yeah. Suffice it to say I wasn't expecting anything transcendent or clever. This is me being as nice as possible about it.

So was I right or was I wrong? Find out after the break!

Well Now I Don't Have any Excuse

So if you're into that sort of thing, break out the lotion and kleenex and tune in on Fridays at 8:30 PM CT (9:30 PM ET) on Funimation's website.

You know, because clearly I'm going to have to review it.

June 22, 2013 -- How I Spent My Summer Vacation

This post is non-canon.

Okay, this looks really bad. I have been away for a while, but it's not because I've forgotten about or abandoned my habit of judging anime series solely by its first impression. Truth be told, I've been working to take care of business with regards to my life. My real one. Not the one where I make penis jokes as I watch cartoons about little girls who transform into well-dressed superheroes and get their heads bitten off.

I'm Back...

... and I'm so mad at you.

I hope you're happy. I'll give you until Saturday to think about what you did. Just know that I expected more from you, anime fans.

Editorial -- What's Love Got to Do With It?

Sorry it took so long to get this post written. I had an idea about where I wanted to take it but decided at the last minute to completely overhaul/rewrite the post because even though I felt good about what I'd written, I didn't feel comfortable posting it in a public space.

So I had to write what I'll call the "Lite" version of this post. If I consider you a close enough friend and are curious about what this post was supposed to look like, please shoot me a text or an email and I'll send you the original.

So what could possibly be a difficult enough subject to broach that I would have to re-edit the whole thing? What on earth could be complicated enough to require something like that? Find out after the break

Something is Technically Wrong

Well, I'd hoped to have a post up for this week before things got busy, but the internet at my university decided that wasn't going to happen. I'll try to write up a post on Thursday. No promises, but with graduation coming up and a possible job interview in the near future I have to shift around my priorities a little bit.

After this week, though, there should be less unexpected busy spells as I enjoy my last summer as a free man. Check back Thursday. Hopefully I'll have something for you then.

5/5/13 -- Vanilla Salt and Vinegar

Because at this point I'm really just biding my time until I can jump ship on Hayate like the first white bitch off the Titanic. That might be perceived as a spoiler for my opinion about the most recent episode of Cuties, but I've got some more things to talk about that'll make up for the negativity of that relatively tiny contribution to my week of anime watching.

Instead I'd like to talk about something that's actually good. It's a show whose first episode I've reviewed already, but the promise of an interesting story brought me back. Now I'm about fourteen episodes in and I still can't stop watching it.

Hey, we're going to talk about Toradora! Because Hayate made me sad and I wanted to watch something good to cheer me up. So let's brighten up this dreary Sunday by talking about Taiga's daddy issues.

4/30/13 -- Not So Nice Cuties

Because I figured titling this post “Dick Riding Kenjiro Hata” wouldn’t be entirely appropriate.

So I’ve been off for a couple of weeks, not because I didn’t want to write something or because I was too depressed about you-know-what, but because I wound up having to take some trips out of town for various reasons. I’m back now, and my absence has made it possible for me to do something super special.

I get to review all the available episodes of the new Hayate the Combat Butler anime. Sometimes life is good to me. So how does the latest offering from our favorite butler-in-debt fare against his previous outings? Find out after the break.

No Ef-ing Way!

Guess what I just made. You should watch it and tell me how badly I butchered this script.

My Very Best Friend

This is something I really never wanted to have to write, and I apologize in advance for subjecting you to it, but writing helps me feel better about a lot of things, and today I just had to do the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.

And I've faced some difficult decisions in my life.

Today I had to say goodbye to my best friend. A friend I've had for the past fourteen years. A friend who's waited faithfully at home for me through every school day, every part time job, and those weeks of college that saw me away from home for weeks and months at a time.

Yes, I'm writing about my dog. And I'm doing it under the title of a Madoka Magica episode. I get sentimental.

April 7, 2013 -- Spring Fever

Well now that we've survived Walpurgisnacht's rampage and been spared the wrath of fellow PreCure fans, it's time to get back to familiar territory. For those of you who've only just joined me during my Madoka Month adventures and decided not to read my modest backlog, what I do is watch the first episode of three different anime series and give my impressions.

This week I'll be looking at Saki, which is a show about how friggin intense mahjong is. I'll also be looking at Toradora, which you might be surprised to know I haven't yet seen. Then I'll wrap things up by watching Ef - A Tale of Memories.

Which shows are easy on the pallet? Find out after the break!

This Week's Menu -- Back to Basics!

Wow, it feels like forever since I've had to make one of these. For the past month, I've basically known ahead of time what I'm gonna watch and how to mentally prepare for the process of watching what's on the docket.

This week I'll cut my teeth on:

• Saki Episode of Side A
• Toradora
• Ef - A Tale of Memories

April 1, 2013? -- MAGICAL GIRLS FOREVER!

Yes sirree, Bob! The thrall of Madoka Month is TOO POWERFUL to be confined to just one month's worth of content! I know a thing or two about how to ride an idea well past its welcome, so from now on the rest of the year will be a celebration of the greatness that is Puella Magi Madoka Magica.

I GIVE TO YOU: MADOKA YEAR!

We begin this odyssey of despair and horror the only way I know how: Watching the movie. To begin, I'll be watching the copy of the first of three Madoka Magica movies using the legal copy I legally bought from Hong Kong. The inside of the case smells like formaldehyde!

So does the movie live up to the experience set forth by the series? Find out after the break!

March 31, 2013 -- Beyond Time and Space

This is it. The last two episodes. This month has been a heck of a ride, but we're about to hit the final stop on this tale of hope and despair.

By the way, those Crunchyroll guest passes are all gone. There's always next time.

I get the feeling there's only one way this story can end, but before I begin I feel obligated to once again point out that I will be GOING STEADY WITH SPOILERS FOR THE DURATION OF THIS POST so if you haven't finished off this series, maybe you should. I would highly recommend it.

Let's finish the fight after the break.

March 30, 2013 -- Walpurgis;Nacht

Maybe Madoka Month would have been more clever to have in April. That way I could time the release of this post with the actual Walpurgis Night festival, which is traditionally held on April 30 (or May 1).

Also the title is a reference to Steins;Gate. You'll understand why I felt the need to do that after you watch these last three episodes, which you should totally do because I become intimate with spoilers in this post. So don't read it unless you don't care about spoilers/ are only looking for free Crunchyroll guest passes.

This post is only about episode ten, just to give you a heads up. I'm doing this because it is easily, easily, the most important episode in the series. I'll see you after the break.

March 24, 2013 -- Metamorphosis

Well, I'm now 75% through Madoka Magica, and I'm starting to notice a pattern with this show. I get the feeling that not everything is going to turn out all right in the end.

As always HEAVY SPOILERS WILL BE CASUALLY REFERENCED within this review. This is almost as much of a cyclical event as  the depression that falls over me after I watch three episodes of Madoka Magica in a row.

Watch this cycle continue to repeat after the break. Also remember that there are TWO Crunchyroll premium guest passes hidden within, so try and find them. The first code starts with a letter. The second code starts with a number.

For the first code, read carefully. For the second, remember that a picture is worth a thousand words.

So Many Crunchyroll Guest Passes

Well, since the winner of the last one never gave me any usable contact info, the Crunchyroll Premium Guest Pass is still unclaimed.

Further complicating matters is the fact that my continued premium membership has made me eligible for a second guest pass.

I now have two premium guest passes to give away.

In the interest of fairness/to make it fun, I will hide the guest pass codes in the next installment of Madoka Month. The first code will be easy to find. The second code will be a little tougher to find.

I hope you'll join me this weekend to share in my musings about girls in frilly outfits fighting witches.

Happy hunting!

Madoka Month Bye Week

I'm taking the week off to attend an anime convention with my bestest friend in the whole world.

Don't worry, though. This trip isn't entirely unrelated to Madoka. I'll be back next week to begin my trek through the rest of the series.

March 11, 2013 -- Life in the Third Circle

Hamha, everybody!

I'm back for week two of my journey through the uber-depressing hellscape that is Puella Magi Madoka Magica (Madoka Magica for short; Madoka for shorter). Hey, did you guys know that there's a dub of this show. I won't be talking about that, because the last thing I need is to invite sub-purists (a term which is a bit of an oxymoron if you think about it) into this already bleak and macabre house.

Remember kids: "Ad Hominem" is just a fancy way
of saying "You're right!"

Today we'll be looking at episodes 4-6. As usual I will be engaging in EXPLICIT, HARDCORE SPOILERS so if you plan on ever watching Madoka I'd recommend you do that before you read this. You'll like it. Trust me. I'll wait.

March 3, 2013 -- Tea Time with the Queen of Hearts

Welcome to March, ABB faithful. I've been at this for a little while now, and I've decided that I'm finally ready to stick my neck out tackle one of the biggest shows that 2011 had to offer. It's the one that all of my friends who watch anime have been hounding me to watch.

Welcome to Madoka Month. I'll be watching this show every week in three-episode increments.

WARNING: I will NOT be avoiding spoilers. And yes, there are spoilers to be had in the first three episodes.

DOUBLE WARNING: This post contains very tasteless jokes.

Time Marches On

February 24, 2013 -- We Meet Again...

My inability to stick to schedules for the most part is a constant source of amusement for everyone who knows me. Luckily for you, though, I typically find a way to get things done eventually. I'm actually gearing up for something I plan to do next month, but we'll worry about that later.

For now, I plan to spend the week revisiting some old friends. This week, we're watching some more iDOLM@STER, finishing an arc in Umineko, and having a laugh at the expense of Amnesia, my new favorite narmy shoujou harem romance.

Come catch up with the gang after the break!

Free Crunchyroll Premium Guest Pass

I've got a guest pass from my ill-gotten Crunchyroll anime membership and you can totally have it to watch some delicious 1080p goodness.

Not even kidding. You don't even have to work very hard for it. All you have to do is be the first to write a comment on this post telling me which one of my reviews you most disagreed with and why. No ad hominem attacks, please. I'm sensitive.

Oh, then go to twitter and preach my wisdom with the hashtag #ABB

You don't actually have to preach my wisdom, but I would very much appreciate someone helping to spread the word. I'll have an update tomorrow eventually to sum up my winter premier experience.

The Empty Mind of Amnesia's Heroine

This follow-up to Amnesia is best viewed when you are staggeringly tired at one in the morning or later. That's when I made these, so I doubt they're as funny as I remember, but I think it's worth showing people how I spend my free time when I'm not lesson planning or counting frames in BlazBlue.

When I was watching Amnesia, I noticed that the heroine had a propensity for blank stares. One blank stare in particular had so much depth to it that I had to do something with it.

Look at this. It's like the Sistine Chapel ceiling of blank stares. The look of simultaneous bemusement and strain, similar to what one would look like after realizing they forgot to buy milk at the grocery store, in the face of certain death goes a long way to show the viewer how much nothing is going through this woman's head.

With that in mind, I used the header image as my template and got to work. I wanted to find out just what she's thinking about that would cause her to make that face. I give you my findings as my gift to you.

And finally, because the reference was just begging to be made.

February 10, 2013-- Girls! Girls!... Girls?

And I'm still carrying on my proud tradition of referencing sitcoms from the late 70s/80s because I know that anime fans are usually also huge fans of Mrs. Garrett from The Facts of Life.

We're back with week two of my look into winter 2013 premieres! Last week was somewhat discouraging, but they can't all be three-minutes long, right?

This week we're looking at Amnesia and Love Live! School Idol Project. Only two shows? Is this a regular thing now? Surely I wouldn't do that, right?

February 2, 2013 -- (7 - 4) Minutes of Heaven

I have returned, and much like Duke Nukem before me I will likely only be met with mediocrity and disappointment! Having completely skipped the month of January, I'm starting my year in the month of Valentine's Day and have chosen a deliciously sensual title for this post to celebrate.

This week we're checking out Mangirl! and Yama no Susume, also known as "Encouragement of Climb"... what? Check it out after the break!

Holy Gosh! This is Getting Crazy!

So it turns out that being a student teacher keeps you busy for most of the day, and when you're done you want to sleep a lot. Generally I wake up at five in the morning and honestly, it'd be really nice if I could sleep longer during the weekends.

Soooo... I'm modifying the way things work. No longer will I both watch and write about the shows on Saturday morning. Instead I'll be watching them throughout the week and reviewing them in more even increments. I'll put the post up on Saturday morning and that'll be that. That way I can work during the week and sleep during the weekends. Everybody wins.

That's not the only reason I've suddenly reappeared, though. Over the winter, I tried a Crunchyroll Premium membership free trial so that I could watch the last episode of Can't Take My Eyes Off You as soon as it premiered. Apparently, the system at Cruncyroll records that free trial in the same way that any premium membership is stored. This means that the system thinks that I paid for a premium membership. That was in December.

Fast-forward to a week ago, and I get a message from Crunchyroll thanking me for supporting the site in the past. As a token of their thanks, I was given a FREE 30-Day Premium membership. This is a good deal for several reasons, chief among them being that I can watch anime in HD, which I so rarely get to do.

So I'm putting science week on indefinite hold in the interest of getting current. I'll be using my premium membership to check out the latest shows from the land of body pillows and tentacles.

All I can say is thank GOD Dragon's Lair was made in America.
Otherwise, people would think I was weird.

So that's the new plan, at least as far as I've planned. I plan to sample some newer shows using my premium access as well as finish up some of the shows I liked from the past couple of months in HD. Fun stuff, and nobody has to deal with any tentacles in the process.

It's a win win win!

Can I Get a Rain Check?

This weeks post is cancelled due to the multiple Murder on the Orient Express-style stab wounds I received from the anime community for writing last week's essay.

I was gonna do my whole science week thing, but whatever I caught over Christmas is still with me and decided to give me back the joy of an upper respiratory infection. Colds really aren't that bad, but the stuff you get after a cold is the absolute worst. Having taken a NyQuil the night before, I slept through the entire morning and I still don't feel up to writing anything profound or absolutely hilarious. Can we do it next week?

This Week's Menu: 2013 Edition!

Dr. Pepper: The beverage of science.

Welcome back to the swing of things. After a month of breaking format, we're getting back into the swing of things. It's the new year, and for some of you that means you're going back to school. Even fewer of us will be returning to school from the other side and starting a semester of student teaching, including yours truly. To celebrate this next phase of my science teacher education, we're going to get scientific this week with a batch of science-themed shows.

This week's shows are:

• Chaos;Head -- Episode 01
• A Certain Scientific Railgun -- Episode 01
• Robotics;Notes -- Episode 01